Using The Right Pronoun For Transgender People Takes Patience And Understanding

Normally, comments are added to the comment section. In this case, Ethan's comment deserved more visibility. He comes at the pronoun issue from a different perspective and should be considered. By the way, when did Northern Virginia become a state unto itself? This is a great idea. Calling the Commonwealth of Virginia home can be embarrassing considering the current political leadership. Ethan's comments on Right Pronouns For All Is A Matter Of Respect: Binary-Identified, Non-Binary-Identified, Women, Genderqueers, Men: Greetings from your bro in the great state of Northern VA. ;) I'm always interested in reading or hearing about the dynamics that exist in the trans community between the different elements. I am the only trans, and for that matter queer, person I know on this side of the Potomac. My daily experiences are speaking and empathizing with my cisgendered, straight co-workers and classmates. I really didn't even know what genderqueer was until I had begun thinking about transitioning a few years ago, and even then I truly thought it was just an intermediate step between genders where transition was imminent. (Of course, I knew the distinction between the identification as genderqueer and being labeled as intersex at birth.) Anyway, I say all this to establish my credibility (none) and show you where I come from. I did a group therapy thing once with transpeople of youth (though, 'youth' was 14-30.) Most of them were questioning or openly identified as gender queer. Of the 12 people, I think only me and one other person were 'binary', as you described, meaning we were set on leaving F to enter M. Here's the thing, the genderqueers, when asked their pronoun preference ALWAYS said they didn't care which was used. Not to stereotype, of course, but when you have limited exposure you're first inclination is to generalize. Then, when those assumptions are confirmed, first-hand (as opposed to someone else saying what genderqueers like to be called) the tendency just becomes a learned behavior. So, obviously the root of the problem is ignorance, even among the most open-minded, empathetic people in the community. I admit that no matter how much I've *read* about genderqueers, I still don't entirely understand them--I do, however, always try to respect their pronoun preferences, etc. I also believe that there needs to be much more inter-advocacy done in trans circles so that it's not the Ls stick together, the Gs stick together, the Bs, and so forth... and then among the Ts they get broken down into pre- post- non- operatives... and by hormone status... and by pronoun preference (however much it matches their physical presentation.) Sorry to ramble on, but I felt that while you presented the need to understand one group within a larger context, that I should explain why it's so hard to understand. Before we can start changing the behavior of pronoun labeling, we need to take a step back and explain the different identities and teach the need to respect those identities along with their respective pronouns.

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